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Dec. 28th, 2005 | 02:49 pm
posted by: wishpaper in dbsgcomm_ss

To: shinja_ninja
From: soh_mee

Meduim: Fic
Rating: PG-13

Yoocheon lay awake in his bed. The past few days had been completely hectic, with rehearsals, performances, autographs signings, appearances on tv, and more. SM had finally sponsored a mini-vacation for the boys, it was the least they could do. They were at a luxury hotel in Florida.


Yoocheon’s eyes shot open. Someone had just entered his private room. He immediately closed his eyes again and pretended to be asleep.

"I know you're up," he head a soft voice whisper.

Yoocheon opened one of his eyes and looked up at the smiling face of Junsu. He then, too, felt a warm smile come to his face.

"Why are you awake so late? You’d think it would be EASY to sleep in a cozy bed like this," Junsu remarked, gently stroking the silk sheets.

"Things have just been stressful, that’s all. I notice you’re up pretty late as well," Yoocheon yawned.

"Indeed, things have been stressful..." Junsu trailed off.

Yoocheon and Junsu had been having a terrible time, hiding their emotions from the other members of DongBangShinGi AND their bosses at SM. They had been sharing feelings of love and comfort for each other for almost a year, but knew their careers would be at stake if they were discovered. However, they managed to share peaceful moments like this every once in a while. It was moments like this that kept them together without straying from each other. Junsu, however, had been showing signs of irritation, for him and Yoocheon had not had a decent moment alone together in over a month.

Yoocheon sat up in his bed and inched over, giving Junsu room to sit down. He felt his fingers intertwine with Junsu’s as they held hands and gazed into each others eyes.

"People just want us to compromise with the world. If that will make me lose you, then I will go against the world," Yoocheon whispered to Junsu. He smiled at the familiar tune, but that smile soon faded.

"I wish that could be true," Junsu sighed, and abruptly stood up and walked out of the room.

"Junsu... sarang hae yo," Yoocheon pleaded.

"Ne..." he heard his voice murmer, but then...

*click* Junsu was gone.


Yoocheon went down to the café in the hotel the next morning and bought some coffee. He hadn’t gotten any more sleep that night, and was exhausted.


Yoocheon looked up to see JaeJoong running over his way.

"Kopi deul!" JaeJoong told the woman working. She held a puzzled look on her face until Yoocheon held up two fingers.

"You look like a disaster," JaeJoong laughed.

Yoocheon looked at him, and noticed his hair was perfect, as usual, and his skin was smooth and lightly tanned. The odor of his strong cologne burned his nose, yet was a pleasant sort of aroma. He couldn’t think of a clever retort if he tried. Instead, he laughed and took the coffees from the lady and handed one to JaeJoong.

"Kamsahamnida," JaeJoong replied, watching with a smile on his face as Yoocheon rushed to bring the cup to his lips.

"AHNYEONG!" JaeJoong suddenly yelled.

Yoocheon looked up to see Junsu. His heart skipped a beat and he suddenly grew nervous as Junsu made his way over. When he arrived, he greeted JaeJoong warmly, but lowered his eyes and only nodded when he saw Yoocheon…


Yunho and Changmin soon came over as well, and the group headed out to an SM sponsored trip to Disney World for the day. They agreed on going to Magic Kingdom first.

"Wow, I have never been here in my life!" Changmin squealed excitedly. He immediately ran to "Splash Mountain" and got in line. The rest of the guys followed him, yet Junsu seemed a bit miffed at the decision.

When it finally got to be their time to go on the ride, Changmin raced to the front seat and sat down, followed by Yunho and JaeJoong. That left Yoocheon with Junsu. Yoocheon sat nervously in his seat while they went through the ride.

"Awww... this is boring!" Changmin whined.

"Be patient," Yunho replied.

After about 5 minutes of sitting uncomfortably next to Junsu amidst the loud music and strange cartoon characters, they heard the shrieks of the people in front of them as they went down the waterfall. Changmin let out a whoop, yet Junsu slightly recoiled in his seat and latched his arms onto the rail. Yoocheon looked to him and held out his hand. Junsu looked at him reluctantly, but as they approached the large drop, he lost all feelings of awkardness and grabbed his hand. Yoocheon felt such a feeling of happiness, he hardly noticed them go down the huge waterfall, but merely concentrated on his hand with Junsu's. Junsu, on the contrary, had shrunken completely
in his seat and screamed for dear life. Changmin, Yunho, and JaeJoong had their arms in the air, yelling excitedly.

After that, Junsu seemed to have eased up a bit towards Yoocheon, and began being the same chatty self he was before, and the rest of the day was a blur of rides, food, and trips to the bathroom (for Junsu) after MORE rides. However, the best part of the day, for Yoocheon, was the end of the day. The rest of the boys returned to the hotel, but Yoocheon and Junsu had decided to return to Magic Kingdom (for they had traveled to all the areas of Disney World) for the parade and the fireworks. They bought some icecream and found a bench to sit upon. As the fireworks started up and the parade passed by, the Yoocheon’s vision was filled with bright and brilliant colors... and Junsu. He looked at Junsu with a look of both hunger and fear. Junsu appeared as nervous as he was.

"Look... about before, I am so sorry we haven’t been able to spend...” Yoocheon started, but Junsu put his index finger on his lips to silence him.

"That doesn’t matter to me. I love you, Park Yoocheon. I was caught up in the moment, I was upset and hurt all at the same time. I realize that you didn’t ask for us to be in this type of situation. It’s hard, I know. But I am willing to work hard in order for this to turn out how we want it to."

Yoocheon just looked at Junsu with a stunned expression on his face. He had been sharing many of these emotions and pains. He was so relieved to know that Junsu felt the same way.

Suddenly, he shifted in his seat and turned to look directly at Yoocheon. He then took his hands within his own and kissed him, just as a fiery explosion of light took place above their heads. At first, it was like a bit of heaven. Yoocheon loved the taste of Junsu's lips upon his own, yet something just did not feel right. It scared him. What if he wasn’t really the one he loved? What if they weren’t meant to be together like this? He felt Junsu slightly pull away from the kiss as well, yet their lips remained locked. Overall, it was an awkward kiss that left them both with mixed feelings of guilt and disappointment. After about 2 minutes in this kiss, they both let go and cleared their throats. Junsu excused himself to the bathroom, and Yoocheon sat alone on the bench, contemplating what just happened. He was slightly relieved to have this small moment to himself, yet worried at whether Junsu would come back. He finally decided that Junsu
wouldn’t just ditch him, and waited.

After a few minutes, Yoocheon began to get concerned, but was distracted by a group of girls who seemed to hold interest in him. One of them waved at him, and her friends giggled at her. Yoocheon nodded to her, and she smiled widely. He hoped that they didn’t know who he was. He always liked traveling to the US, because there were fewer people there who had heard of him, and he could therefore enjoy himself in peace. After a while, the girls finally left and Yoocheon checked his watch once more. It had been 10 minutes since Junsu left. He decided to go out to the parking lot and wait by the car for Junsu.

"Sry I didn’t wait 4 U, im at the car," Yoocheon text messaged him, and then leaned against their car waiting.

He zoned out for a bit, thinking about Junsu and the kiss. It was all so confusing. He felt, or atleast he thought he felt, absolute love for him. He had never held feelings like these for anyone else. Sure, he had had flings once or twice, but they were merely infatuations. Nothing compared to what he shared with Junsu. But then, why did things feel so strange with him? His thoughts were broken by a blow to the face, that caused him to hit the hood of his car. Startled, he looked up and saw three guys about his age around him.

"Hey, where’d your boyfriend go? Fucking homo." One of the guys sneered.

They began to surround him, spewing insults at him while bullying him, by spitting at him or ruffling his hair. Scared and confused, Yoocheon tried to walk away, but was pushed to the ground.

"Haha! Look at that fag with his chinky eyes! Don't let him touch you, you might get fag germs on you!" one of the gang taunted. He finally went over and kicked Yoocheon hard in the stomach. He let out a choked yell, as they began to punch and kick him again and again. Yoocheon could do nothing, but lie in the fetal position until the guys decided to stop. He could have taken one of the men on in a fight, maybe even two. But three was exceeding the limit. They definitely werent small guys either.

After about 5 minutes of enduring their beatings, he heard one of them fall to the ground. He looked up to see Junsu, who had just pushed him over, accompanied by five security guards. The three men ran off with four of the guards following them, but instead of pursuing them, Junsu hurried to kneel beside Yoocheon and help position him into his lap.

"Are you alright, son?" one of the guards quickly asked him, clearly rushing to catch up with the others.

Yoocheon coughed, but nodded to him, who immediately ran after the men once he knew he was alright.

Yoocheon could feel tears burn his eyes, but refused to cry. He looked up to see Junsu’s face looking down upon him with that same smile, but this time it was masking feelings of woory and concern. Yoocheon shifted his sight up to the sky with tears still stuck in his eyes, hiding all emotion from his face.

"I... I can’t believe this happened... I should have never left you..." Junsu stammered after minutes of silence.

"What?" Yoocheon wondered.

"I saw those guys!" Junsu cried out, hysterical now. "I saw them watching us, I saw the hatred upon their faces, I could tell. I just never dreamed that this would happen..."

Yoocheon just sat there, feeling tears finally trickle down his face like mini rivers, and break at his mouth. He couldn’t bear the sight of his most valuable possession in the world breaking down right in front of him.

"My god, I am so sorry... so so sorry... You don’t deserve me. Just this morning I wasn’t talking to you because I felt you were ignoring me. I was mad at you! For trying to do the right thing... And now when we were finally intimate, when I finally got what I wanted, who is the one who that was hurt? Who is the one who paid the price for MY bad decision... This is all my fault...” Junsu wailed. He was barely understandable at this point, he was stuttering horribly between sobs.

"Maybe we just weren’t meant to be together, you know? Thinking of all of the times we have nearly been discovered, when we had to hide in shame and fear of who might see us together. All of the times where we SHOULD have been happy, but were somehow interrupted... Maybe things will never work out. Nothing ever goes as planned, and it always seems as though the existence of the world is set up to oppose us..." he struggled to say, his crying stifling his voice.

Yoocheon put his arms around Junsu and held him close, ignoring the pain he felt when Junsu’s weight was applied onto his bruises. He calmed Junsu down, and kissed him on top of his head.

"Then I will go against the world..." Yoocheon sang softly to him.

Junsu looked up and smiled, a true smile this time, for while he was in his beautiful partner’s arms, he felt no anxiety. He felt happy, no matter who saw them.

“Sarang hae yo” he whispered. And at that moment, the two shared their first real kiss. Away from hate, away from fear of those watching. Away from guilt at what they were doing.

Yoocheon finally felt safe, and above all, true love with Junsu.

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Comments {1}


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from: shinja_ninja
date: Dec. 30th, 2005 11:54 pm (UTC)

*_* I love it! ♥

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